ASB have kicked off the 2008-09 season with a desire to win but we're not taking it seriously anymore, there's been too much made of some teams in the IFA's desire to win the league and others who feel that the desire to win does not fit with their view of the IFA and it's aim to bring fans together. So we'll be playing teams who want a game and are happy to return the fixture.

The season has started well - with 2 games cancelled unfortunately - we've recorded 3 wins, including a first round cup victory for the first time in years!

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ASB are currently hibernating - we may come back once the IFA sort the league out but at the moment we are all far too busy drinking beers and sleeping in late.

We would also consider games if teams actually come and visit us for a change, after all, its boring travelling all the time

30th May 2008 

ASB's last game of the season is tomorrow in Ipswich, and after some trasnportation issues it looks like a decent squad will be going up to try and seize third place in the league and a securing a place in the play-off's in late June.

Last weekend ASB's 19th game of the season was a 4 goal game against a strong Oxford tea,, ABS eventually running out 3-1 winners.

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ASB welcome Preston for what should be an absolutely cracking game. Last seasons league winners are a good footballing side so it should make for a great spectacle. After our dip in form we are hoping to bounce back with a win and with a strong squad and Inga back from holidays we are hoping we get back to winning ways tomorrow. The current league table is below. Both teams need the win if either of us are to make it into the play offs this season and a game between two IFA teams who spend most of their time on the road.

As its the first time a team from up north has come and played us in quite some time our chairman Juzza will be dipping into his very deep pockets and will stump up for the first round, for those of you who know Juzza, you will know this is a momentus occasion that should be video recorded for prosterity, its like a leap year, only comes around once every four years!

http://www.freewebs.com/ifastats/0708table.htm

IFA League table 

31st March '08

The losing streak continues with a loss at Stevenage and then to a last minute goal up at west Brom. This weekend it's the turn of Preston so we have to raise the level of our performances and get ourselves into the play-off spots to have any chance of the league now!

13th March '08

After two games where ASB have struggled to find their form, the team head for Stevenage this weekend (15th). Once again numbers are worryingly low for the game, with another new player hopefully making his debut to strengthen a threadbare squad. It seems that work and family are seriously taking heir toll on ASB's run-in, with last weekends draw at Dagenham & Redbridge and the previous weeks loss to the Hammers putting the brakes on what had looked like a league winning (if not a second or third place) season. With new Captain Sharkey back for this weekends game, we're hoping to put on a good show against a Stevenage side who have proven to be a strong team going by this years results.

Hopefully the good ASB will turn up, not the bad one! 

22nd Feb

ASB take on West Ham tomorrow in our first home game of the year. To mark this momentus occasion we have a new home ground complete with a bar so we can have a few beers with the Hammers boys after the match.

In other news, club captain and assistant manager Stuart 'TINA' Morely will be moving onto pastures greener as he has been picked to play for a semi professional side Park Place Sports. We all wish him well in this new endeavour and are proud of him. We all knew he could play at a higher level so wish him all the best. He will of course still turn out for us at Worldnet and play for us when he can.

As a result we have a new assistant manager, step forward Anthony ' Orville' Harris and a new club captain Marc 'Sharkey' Smith

Are you a QPR fan? Want to play footy wearing the super hoops? Then get in touch! We need more players. If you can play on Saturday mornings and like the idea of playing with a nice bunch of other Rs fans then we want to hear from you. We have lost a few players this season to injury, travelling, kids and need to replace them

14th Feb

Love is in the air, the website's had a few stat and match reports updated and ASB won 4-1 at the weekend down in Southampton.

Tuesday night's 5's were moved to Wednesday to let the lads go to the Burnley game at Loftus Rd...we won't be making that mistake again. 

Next game v West Ham next weekend, pitch details yet to be confirmed. 

9th Feb

Yet again we are on our travels, seems that West London may be a scary place to teams in the IFA, either that or they are just fecking lazy! This will be our eleventh league game of the season and the ninth away. As you can imagine everyone is getting slightly peeved with this, who knows, maybe one day we will get a home game......

We play Southampton this morning and once again we have a scratch side, again with two new players making their debuts. We have twelve players unavailable for this match either through injury, illness, work or holidays. And its only February! So far this season we have not played the same team twice so if we get a win the management will be very happy indeed!

2nd Feb 

ASB once again are away on out travels as we head to the dreaming spires of Oxford, should be interesting, we have two players making their debuts today, step forward TJ and Scouse Steve!

                                                      23rd January

 With the last two games called off (12th and 19th Jan) thanks to the incessant rain that has befallen London of late ASB are desperate to get their first game of the new year in. Thanks to Barnet for agreeing to play us this coming Saturday. Now all we need to do is pray it doesn't rain between now and then!!!

Friday 7th December

ASBs curse continues, we were due to play Barnet tomorrow but they have just informed us that their pitches are water logged and unplayable. So another weekend, another cancellation, maybe we will get a game sometime this century, you can always hope...... 

Friday 30th November 

One again we have to cancel a game due to lack of players. We were due to play Wimbledon but with only seven players available for selection its not going to happen. So,if your a QPR fan, like playing 11 a side footy and fancy a game get in touch as we need new players!

Friday 23rd November

ASB Were due to play Barnet tomorrow but alas we were unable to muster enough players so the game has been cancelled.

TheUltimate Christmas Gift… With Football Aid

Sick of socks and swamped in smellies? Tired of ties and jaded by jumpers? Well, now is the time to speak out for what you really want for Christmas…The chance to play for QPR at LOFTUS ROAD!TheSuper Hoops have joined forces with Football Aid to host a charity match at the end of the current football season at Loftus Road.Founded in 2000, Football Aid raises money for a wide range of charities and voluntary organisations. By hosting events at the UK's largest Clubs, they give fans the chance to take part in a range of unique football based experiential products, including their original 'Live the Dream' event allowing supporters to play an adrenaline fuelled 90 minutes on the pitch of the Club they support.Positions for the exclusive event are available to buy now and if you would rather put down a deposit you had better hurry! Sponsor to Play positions are closing on the 26^th November! Bidding is due to begin on January 16^th, so make sure you spot the position you want before its gone! Proceeds from the games will go to Football Aid’s parent charity, Field of Dreams, towards diabetes research, education and management projects as well as a charity nominated for funding by QPR.For further information, visit www.footballaid.com or call the Football Aid Sales team on 0131 220 5999.

We look forward to hearing from you!!

The Football Aid Team.

Thursday 1st November

Neil 'Titchmarsh' Ingham has made 2 additions to his management team with immediate effect. Ian 'Fiscal Prudence' Fraser joins as the treasurer. In the press conference where he was unveiled he was quoted as saying 'I have presided over an unprecedented 10 years of growth over the nation's economy and plan to bring these same benefits to ASB's finances. Click here for his final pre budget report as chancellor. Also added to the team is another wee Scot, Brian Copeland. He looks forward to spending countless hours in his bedroom checking match reports for spelling mistakes.

 Thursday 25th October 

ASB welcome a team from South America this Sunday in a friendly at Old Deer Park as we have no league game this weekend. Should be interesting......

Wednesday 16th October

ASB finally announce the date for our 10th anniversary party! Even though we are now in our 11th year......

Well, its finally happened, after almost two years of procrastination Juzza has found a venue, booked it and its all systems go....at last. So, if you are an ASB player or have played at some point for ASB in the past we want to see you on the 17th November for a big celebration. The party will held at Cleos, Vanderbilt Hotel, South Kensington, from 7pm - 2am. Expect alcohol, DJs, dancing, speeches and maybe the odd award.

11th October

After a break of just over a month we finally have another game! At bleeding last......what with Watford and Wycombe cancelling us we were beginning to feel unloved but thankfully Kingstonian have stepped into and offered us a game. This will be the first ever encounter between the two teams.

 Saturday 29th September

Congratulations are in order for Fletcher Easton, ASB's old manager who finally got himself hitched yesterday to the lovely Georgina. ASB wish him and his new bride well and hope that at some stage they get around to adding to the already growing ASB junior team......

Friday 10th September

ASB take a 15 man squad up to Leicester for our first game with the internet foxes in quite a few years. Rumours are flying that Crouchy was going to fly back from the states for this game but alas his plane just wont be quick enough to get him to the match in time. 

In other news ASB's manager Inga will be unable to attend the game as he is promoting a club night in Brixton which it is hoped will see numous ASB faces gurning at later that evening.

Captain and Assistant Manager Tina and former Joint Manager Two Touch Burnsy have just returned from holiday together in what was shaping up to be the skinniest duo ever recorded on a joint holiday. Reports suggest that although Two touch will slip down a drain pipe if he turns sideways he was considered a bloater next to Tina who is so skinny he works part time as a tooth pick....

Sunday 9th September

ASB held their second league game of the season yesterday with an emphatic win over Hampton and Richmond winning 12 - 0. A fantastic hatrick from Immy and a brace from Billy Rice were highlights in what was a very enteraining game. Jim 'Camilla' Parker made his debut in midfield and was unlucky not to score. Scottish Brian once again got on the scoresheet with a brace and he now has three goals from two games which is an excellent return, thanks Herts for lending him to us!

Our next game is away against Leicester on Saturday 15th September. 

Sunday 2nd September

Former ASB Manager Fletcher 'Zorro' Easton celebrated his stag weekend this weekend with assorted old school ASB faces down in the English Riviera also known as Torquay. Faces to attend were Yeti, Chilli, Donny, Juzza, Admiral, Banjo sporting the most outrageous curly mop of hair you have ever seen, Woody and Inga. It was carnage and we are all suffering deeply.....

Monday 20th August

ASB kick off the new season with a win! A hard fought 1- 0 victory over Welling gave ASB the three points in what was a very even game. We looked rusty and had a number of players out so the win was very welcome indeed. Special mention must go to Brian Copeland who scored the winning goal on his debut. Brian hails from Edinburgh where he used to play for Herts IFA team but a move down South has enabled ASB to snafffle him up and we hope his goal is the first of many.

In other news Neil 'Inga' Ingham has been voted in as manager once again for the new season, this year he will be without Keir 'Two Touch' Frame who has resigned but will continue taking on coaching on a Thursday. Stuart 'Tina' Morley steps into the breach and has been voted in as Assistant Manager. Other appointments voted on were as follows:

Manager : Neil Ingham

Assistant Manager : Stuart Morley

Transport Secretary : Nick Morris

Treasurer: Iain Fraser

Web Manager : Brian Copeland

Kit Manager : Iain Fraser

Fixture Secretary : Paul Frange

Coach : Keir Frame

Saturday 18th August

After over a months rest ASB once again kick off the new season with a home game against Welling. ASB have lost the services of Jools 'Hippy' Wakefield after eleven years of goalscoring. Jools is our all time top scorer and its going to be a big job to replace him as he will be sorely missed, not just for his goalscroing attributes but his all round hippy like tendancies. He has decided that Vietnam needs him and we wish him all the luck in the world.

In other news Fletcher 'Chris' Easton is getting married! Zorro has finally decided to settle down and as surprising as that is we are ALL looking forward to the stag do and the wedding that follows, should be a blinder!

Riz Ali is to become a dad and Naz Bana is getting engaged! ASB salutes you all.

Monday 16th July

ASB crashed out of the Sports Interactive Cup on penalties in the last 16 to Preston. Despite not losing a game in open play and only conceeding one goal all weekend we were hopeless at penalties and lost 3 - 1 in the end to a strong Preston side. The tournament was eventually won by French side Lens.

On the social side, Signal once again went AWOL the entire weekend, rumour has it he met a lass on the internet from Glasgow and decided his time would be better spent entertaining her than supporting his mates.....and long may it continue! 

Thursday 12th July

Keir 'Two Touch'  Frame announces his resignation as joint manager of ASB. After a season of joint control 'Mr Burns' is feeling the strain and wants to focus now on getting fit and growing some hair back. ASB thanks him for his sterling efforts this season and hope he recovers from his injury so that he can once again terrorise oposition full backs next season.

In other news ASB take a strong 21 man squad up to Leeds this coming weekend for the big two day footy drunk fest that is Worldnet / Sports Interactive Cup. We will be staying in the Metropole our spiritual home and no doubt this weekend will be a carnival of drinking far too much, sun burn and of course football. We will need a huge slice of luck to win it but hell, you never know eh......... 

 Monday 2nd July

Our very forst tournament went off without a hitch, the sun shone, we all got sunburnt expecting rain that never came. Congratulations to Green Wood FC for winning it, commiserations to Sports Interactive who were beaten in the final on penalties. ASB entered two teams but unfortunately only 14 players turned up so the day turned into a bit of a farce for us and we struggled all day having to play two lots of games. We managed to get to the semis but were knocked out on penalties 5 - 4 by Green Wood. Ho hum. Here's hoping we do better at Worldnet!

STOP PRESS

 Hi folks,

Due to all the wet weather we've been having, the pitches we were due
to use are waterlogged and unavailable for our tournament on the 1st July.

Fortunately we have found a replacement venue close by, the details
are as follows:

Warren Farm, Windmill Lane, Southall, Middx. UB2 4NE

Map here: http://tinyurl.com/9n5vy

Sunday 1st July

A 1st for ASB on this date will see us host our 1st ever tournament the Misty Inferno cup. Palace, Fulham Vets and Worldnet sponsors Sports Interactive have all confirmed entry in what will be an ideal preparation for all for the big one 2 weeks later. It will be hosted at Tentelow Lane sports ground near our old haunt at Warren Farm!! 

Saturday 16th June

ASB ran out 11 - 0 winners against Orient today in our final league match of the season. Orient had a depleted side so the scoreline was a bit harsh on them as we had to lend them players including debutant Mike who was playing his first game for us. Mike played one half for us and another for Orient in goal and actually saved a penalty for Orient! No games now until our tournament on the 1st July and then Worldnet on the 13th July. 

Saturday 9th June

No game scheduled so everyone will no doubt be nursing hang overs this morning. Next week we have our last league game of the season where we will be entertaining Leighton Orient in our first ever meeting. 

Sunday 3rd June

Hang overs all round as ASB claim their first silverware of the season with a resounding 5 - 1 win over Fulham in the LSA Cup Final. On a scorching hot day ASB ground out a convincing win. Commiserations to Fulham who put up a good fight but with a depleted subs bench they ran out of steam in the heat and our fresher legs finally told. As ever the game was played in perfect spirit and was a joy to watch. 

Saturday 2nd June

Big game today as we take on Fulham in the LSA Cup final. Hopefully we willhave a few supporters turn up on both sides so it should be a great atmosphere. The match will be played on some lovely pitches in Greenford, literally spitting distance from where Inga was born and spent his formlative years. Both sides are determinded to win this one and get their first silverware of the season. After ASB's 6 - 0 win a few weeks back Fulham will be determined for revenge and will be a much stronger side with a number of their first team players back and available. After the trophy has been presented we all intend to have a few ales and a bit of a party............

Sunday 27th June

ASB eventually emerged 7 - 2 winners after a hard fought game that saw Sharkey earn the man of the match award with a 43 minute second half hatrick and an assist. His second goal was a peach, a twenty five yard curling left foot shot into the top corner. Quality.

Saturday 26th June

After our 6 - 0 against Bromley ASB welcome Watford to the joys that is Warren Farm for our second fixture of the season, we have had some great games with Watford over the years so it will be good to catch up with them again in what should be a cracking game. 

Saturday 19th July

ASB Play Bromley in our first ever encounter today in Bromley. Hopefully we can continue our good run which sees us now on a 15 game unbeaten streak. 

Saturday 12th May

We did have a game originally scheduled with Rotherham but they are unfortunately unable to travel down now so we will have to re-schedule for another date. Hope they can make it as it would be great to see them and we were planning on taking them out on the piss ( as well as try and convince Burnsy to sign for us...... )

Saturday 5th May

Big local derby this Saturday as ASB play Fulham in the IFA league. Fulham are a handy outfit who beat us 2 - 0 last season so it should be a tough game. They will also be our opponents in the LSA Cup final so should be a good match. 

Stop Press: ASB win local derby 6 - 0. Fulham were under strength today and we managed to inflict a heavy defeat on our West London rivals, no doubt it will be a different game come the LSA Cup Final.

Sunday 29th April

ASB are through to the final of the LSA Cup after a hard fought game against Welling. After going 4 nil up at half time ASB looked to be cruising but a spirited fight back from Welling saw the game end 4 - 3 to ASB.  

Saturday 28th April

ASB entertain Welling in the Semi Final of the LSA Cup at Colliers Wood. Should be a good game as Welling are a well organised outfit with some good players. 

Saturday 21st April

Titchmarsh Reaps His Harvest

ASB's very own Neil 'Titchmarsh' Ingham returned to the football pitch after a 5 year absence to score ASB's 9th goal in a 10-0 thrashing of AFC Wimbledon. He rolled back the years with a crisp finish from 8 yards out and probably let everybody in the Elbow Room know about his 8 yard screamer. He has now scored as many goals as Jim 'Taskforce' Frayling has achieved in 9 matches. Task was too middle class to play this week but is expected to return for the LSA Cup semi final against Welling, again to be held at Colliers Wood.     

Saturday 14th April

Still no game scheduled so another weekend down homebase mowing the lawn blah blah blah.

Mungo has still not resurfaced. He owes ASB and a number of his mates money and has decided being the complete arsehole that he obviously is that he would rather just disappear from the team and not answer his mates phone calls than pay back the money he owes. We will continue to shame him on this website and take the piss out of him in the vein hope that his conscience may kick in at some point and he will grow some balls and pay back the money he owes.

Saturday 8th April

Its Easter ! No game scheduled so enjoy your Easter Eggs. 

Saturday 1st April

No game scheduled unfortunately, even with all of Franges efforts to find us some opposition.

 Saturday 31st March

ASB have a home game scheduled against Barnet at Old Deer Park. Hopefully we can continue knocking in the goals but they will be a hard nut to crack and it should be a tough game. In other news, Mungo AKA Tight Wad is still a wanker, early reports indicate that he will continue to be a wanker into his old age, scientists are conducting studies as we speak in the forlorn and some would say, vein hope, that they can cure him of this terrible affliction. The feeling in the ASB camp is that he will  remain a wanker and no amount of prodding by quacks will change this.

Saturday 24th March

As we have no game planned this Saturday we have decided to go to Wembley to watch England U21s against the Italian U21's for the very first ever competetive game at the new Wembley Stadium, should be a laugh. We were thinking of inviting Tight Wad (previously Mungo) but decided that on balance, he is a twat.  

Saturday 17th March

After Leicester cancelled our fixture Brentford have very kindly stepped in and will be coming down to Old Deer Park for what we all hope will be a classic West London derby. No sign of the wanker Tight Wad, we are however conducting a detailed search of Londons less salubrious establishments where he has been known to borrow money without repaying it and hopefully we will find him soon. 

Saturday 10th March

ASB travel down to sunny Kent to play Welling which promises to be an entertaining game. In other news Mungo has had his name changed to Tight Wad, however he still remains a wanker

Saturday 3rd March

ASB were due to play Ipswich but unfortunately they have cancelled. Paul Frange is currently battling away manfully trying to set up fixtures but seems to be thwarted at every turn with teams cancelling at the last minute. It has been confirmed, Mungo is indeed a wanker.

Saturday 24th February 2007

ASB travel to Watford this Saturday which traditionally is a hard fought game as they have a very decent side. We will be hoping to keep a clean sheet after conceeding three goals in our past two games, something the defence has managed not to do all season. In other news we are getting reports from across London that Mungo is a wanker.

Wednesday 12th February 2007

ASB To Visit Jordan

It has been confirmed that ASB will visit West Ham this Saturday at their Harrow Road ground to face ex-manager and first ever IFA supporters team transfer Jordan Ali. The fixture was originally intended for the first half of the season but was postponed due to lack of fit players. It will be ASB's first game in a month after cancellations by various opposition recently.

In other news, Preston have opted to play Fulham in an IFA Cup fixture this weekend, instead of fulfilling the crunch match at Old Deer Park with ASB. Manager Stephen Cowell says that his team can't play us at this stage as they have to fulfil their IFA Cup fixture by a certain date and this takes precedent for them. There is still an outside chance that Preston may visit us to complete the fixture on Saturday 7th April when Preston's senior team take on Crystal Palace. Watch this space for further news on the matter.

Sunday 7th January 2007

Hoops Are Singing In The Rain

ASB started 2007 with a 4-1 win against local rivals Brentford's Beesotted. ASB started brightly in atrocious conditions with goals on 5, 23 and 33 minutes to lead 3-0 at half time. The Bees battled hard in an enjoyable match but the soaked pitch ensured that the second half fizzled out into 22 blokes mudwrestling. Woody scored his first goal of the season after sliding for at least 30 yards to meet the ball and looked delighted. Zesh Rehman's twin brother Riz kept his penalty under the bar in the second half to score our only goal of the second half. A full report is to follow, and thanks must be given to whoever is washing the kit this week!    

Saturday 23rd December

Pandy breaks his duck

A dazzling ASB performance brought a 10-0 thrashing of Mansfield last week. Both Pandy and Tizzy scored their first goals for ASB as the Hoops turned up the heat on fellow Championship contenders Preston and Bury. Preston are due to play at Old Deer Park on 17th February in what is due to be one of the biggest games in the IFA this season after confirming that they will honour the fixture in return for the long trip north to share the points early last season. Pandy will hope to add some more goals to his account before returning to Brazil for some Capirinhas in the sun. Check back soon for an exclusive interview with the man himself! 

Monday 4th December 2006

ASB complete double over Reading

ASB recorded a 9-0 victory against Reading for the second time this season with a superb performance at the Civil Service Sports Club in Reading on Saturday. Slouch put in a Man Of The Match performance in bagging his hat-trick, run close by Gav, who also scored 3. ASB turned up with 11 men for this IFA League clash after 4 players didn't report for their morning lifts to make the short journey to Reading. Any worries the management team had were shortly dispelled after ASB settled into their passing game quickly and bossed the game from start to finish. Managers Keir Frame and Neil Ingham were delighted with their team's performance, but not so happy at the chaos that preceded the match, troubling chairman Juzza so much that he happily made a mad dash along the motorway to support our bare 11 and score that all important 8th goal! For a full match report, check the Fixtures & Results section.     

Monday 27th November 2006

Welcome to the brand-new relaunched home of Accrington Stanley Bowles Football Club.

This website would not have been possible without the support of our club sponsor Trafalgar Fire & Security Alarms and our wonderful Web Developers You In Control. Also involved in this project have been the ASB Management team of Neil and Keir and ASB Midfielder Mark 'Cunt Features' Doogan. A big thank you also to all those who have provided content in the form of photographs, written pieces or by having played for ASB.

As you will see when navigating around the site, all current ASB players are included have up to date player profiles and some ex-players are also listed. Remember to keep checking the site for new information as we are planning to catalogue all those who have represented us on the pitch.

Every game will have a report added no later than 3 days after it's completion and the 'Photos' tab will soon be active and will be home to galleries illustrating ASB's 10 year history, both on and off the pitch. 

The news section will feature weekly updates with various features such as interviews with players and a round up of key results from the world of IFA Football. A link to the IFA league table will be displayed regularly, although the table is not updated every week. Please note that this table is NOT the official IFA table, it is updated by another IFA club, so the league table should be used as a guide only and may contain some errors. For the current IFA League table correct as of Friday 17th November click here

Any feedback on the site is most welcome, if you have any comments or perhaps some material you think should be displayed on our site please contact Keir at kframe96@yahoo.com